Dear Letena,
My name is Mekdes Abera. I am a senior in high school and just finished my University Entrance Exams. I do not want to brag, but I am one of the top students in my school. I recently won a national general knowledge contest. I have many hobbies, I play basketball, I have a good social life, and people often tell me about my potential to do great things. I believe that too. But something has happened that puts all of that into doubt for me. I am writing to you today because I feel overwhelmed and lost. I fear I might be pregnant.
My period is late. I have not told anyone yet, but in my heart I know that pregnancy is a possibility for me. My boyfriend and I are usually careful. We knew what we needed to do to prevent things like this, but to be honest we weren’t always careful. I think I even know when it might have happened. It was oldies day at our high school. Some friends had brought wine, and my boyfriend and I drifted away from the group. We were tipsy, enjoying the music, and we got carried away. I am ashamed to admit that, no matter how brave I think I am, I don’t always know how to say what needs to be said in the moment. Especially in intimate situations, it feels almost rude to speak up.
We are both so young. My boyfriend is kind and supportive, but he is just starting out in life, without stable income and still dependent on his family. Besides, there is so much we have yet to experience. Sometimes I imagine myself holding a baby, but then I remember the life I want to build: completing my studies, pursuing my career, and traveling. All those dreams feel like they could slip away if I become a mother now.
The thought of telling my family terrifies me. They are strict and have always warned me to wait, to be responsible, and to focus on my education. I do not know how they would react. They have always been supportive and progressive, but would that change in the face of something like this? What if they try to push me into a decision I do not want?
I have also been thinking a lot about abortion. I know it is a difficult subject for many, but right now it feels like an option I cannot ignore. I don’t want to end up resentful, trapped in a life I didn’t want. I want to make my own choice about my body, my life, and my future. Does this make me selfish, or does it make me honest to admit that I am not ready for motherhood yet?
I feel caught between fear and hope. On one hand, I do not want to disappoint anyone. On the other, I know that if I am pregnant, whatever choice I make will change me. I just do not know which path will be the right one.
NB: The character in this story is fictional, and the name generated randomly.
Writer: Dr. Hosaena Gebru
English
Amharic