Have you ever sat with a group of friends and realized that everyone has a different story about how virginity works? In Ethiopia, many of us grow up surrounded by whispers, traditions, and strict expectations that often create more fear than clarity. It is common to feel anxious about whether your body fits a certain mold or if the stories you have heard are actually true. You might be silently wondering if what you have been told is a fact or just a long-standing myth, and it is completely normal to seek the truth about your own health.
Understanding your body starts with the hymen, which is often the most misunderstood part of this topic. It is natural to feel embarrassed or confused when discussing it, but please know that these feelings are shared by many. The hymen is not a seal that covers the vaginal opening completely, but rather a thin, stretchy piece of tissue that surrounds it. If it were a solid barrier, period blood would have no way to leave the body. This tissue comes in many different shapes and sizes, and because it is flexible, it can be stretched by simple things like sports, physical activity, or using a menstrual cup long before a person ever has sex.
One of the most helpful things to understand is that the “bleeding test” is not a reliable way to determine if someone is a virgin. Many women do not bleed at all during their first sexual experience because their hymen is naturally flexible or has already stretched over time. Not bleeding is a normal biological variation, not a sign that a girl has lied about her history. Furthermore, there is no medical test that can prove virginity. Doctors and global health experts agree that a physical exam cannot determine if someone has had sex, as the hymen changes naturally for many reasons. Your worth and your health history cannot be measured by a clinical examination or a physical trait.
Taking charge of your reproductive health also means looking past myths regarding safety and performance. Some believe that you cannot get pregnant or catch a Sexually Transmitted Disease, or STD, during the first time. This is a dangerous misunderstanding, as pregnancy and infections can happen during any sexual encounter, including the very first one. Additionally, your reproductive performance, meaning your ability to have children or your body’s general function, remains exactly the same. Being informed about protection and understanding how your body works is the most responsible way to prepare for the future.
Navigating these topics can feel heavy because of the silence that often surrounds them, but seeking accurate information is a sign of maturity and self-respect. You are not alone in your curiosity, and it is okay to ask questions when the stories you hear do not match medical facts. Choosing to learn about your body helps replace fear with confidence and confusion with clarity. Remember that taking care of your health and making informed decisions is a brave step toward a balanced and empowered life.