Dear Letena,
I don’t really know how to begin this letter, but I feel like I can’t keep everything inside anymore. I’m twelve now, and my body is changing so quickly. Instead of feeling excited about it, I mostly feel out of place. When I look at my friends, they still seem like kids, but I don’t. It feels as if I’ve stepped into a world I wasn’t ready for, while everyone else stayed behind.
Lately, my chest has been growing, and sometimes it aches in a way I don’t understand. I catch myself crossing my arms over it, hoping the discomfort will ease and that no one will notice. But the boys at school already have, and the teasing feels endless. They point, laugh, and make comments that sting more than I can admit. Every time it happens, I wish I could shrink back into myself and disappear.
I’m too embarrassed to bring any of this up to my mom. Just the thought of saying the words out loud makes my face burn. I even tried searching for answers online, but all I found were long explanations filled with big words and scary possibilities. Nothing seemed to speak to what I’m actually going through. So I’ve stayed quiet, carrying all of this by myself.
Sometimes I wonder why it had to happen to me first, why growing up feels less like moving forward and more like being pushed into a spotlight I never asked for. It’s lonely, confusing, and often I just wish I could pause everything until I feel ready.
I’m writing to you because keeping this inside has started to feel unbearable. I need to believe there is at least one place where my fears won’t sound foolish.
Writer: Bezawit Elias
English
Amharic