Dear younger me,
You’re growing up in a world that is overflowing with information, so much that it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. A world that talks about sex without ever really talking about it. Everyone seems to know, yet no one explains. So let’s start here, with honesty.
Sex is not shameful. It is not performance or conquest. It is an expression of connection, affection, and vulnerability. I know that when you first learned about it, it wasn’t through a conversation with someone who cared. You heard things from friends, saw things online, and slowly began forming ideas. The truth is, most of what you’ll see and most of what you’ll hear are far removed from reality.
Real life doesn’t have scripted scenes, there is no director cutting to the perfect climax. Relationships are dynamic. They are made up of communication, comfort, awkwardness, trust, and care, all the things that make sex great. You’ll realize one day that sexuality isn’t about performance or a conquest. It’s something you grow into for yourself. It’s not about proving you’re experienced or confident or have a high body count; it’s about learning what makes you feel safe, seen, and respected.
You’re human, curiosity doesn’t make you bad, but on the contrary, it’s what makes you a real being. But curiosity without guidance and principle can lead you into illusions. That’s what pornography is; that’s what casual sex can be. A beautifully packaged illusion. It’s not evil but empty, the kind of emptiness no one warns you about. It promises connection but leaves you hollow. It mimics intimacy but skips the parts that make intimacy matter. It’s like a fireplace screen saver; it looks real, yet when you reach out to feel the warmth of the logs, it isn’t there.
Here is the thing, though: you can always come back to the truth. To reality that invites presence. To the kind of relationships where you don’t have to pretend. Where both you and your partner are seen and valued, the kind where you don’t use someone, and you don’t feel used or compared.
You can learn that real sexual health begins long before any of the physical acts. It starts with self-respect. With understanding your body, your emotions, and your boundaries. It’s about realizing your worth doesn’t depend on experience or feeling instant gratification.It’s about self-governance, and when you meet someone who treats you with gentleness and care, you’ll understand how different a real connection feels. It’s calm, not chaotic; it’s steady, not just thrilling, and it’s built on trust, not tension and momentary passion.
One day you’ll come to see this. You’ll see that sexual health isn’t just about protecting yourself from disease; it’s about how you see yourself and others. That’s what self-love truly is.
With care and clarity,
Your Older Self
Writer: Kidus Solomon
English
Amharic