Virginity and the Myths surrounding it

Have you ever sat with a group of friends and realized that everyone has a different story about how virginity works? In Ethiopia, many of us grow up surrounded by whispers, traditions, and strict expectations that often create more fear than clarity. It is common to feel anxious about whether your body fits a certain mold or if the stories you have heard are actually true. You might be silently wondering if what you have been told is a fact or just a long-standing myth, and it is completely normal to seek the truth about your own health.

Understanding your body starts with the hymen, which is often the most misunderstood part of this topic. It is natural to feel embarrassed or confused when discussing it, but please know that these feelings are shared by many. The hymen is not a seal that covers the vaginal opening completely, but rather a thin, stretchy piece of tissue that surrounds it. If it were a solid barrier, period blood would have no way to leave the body. This tissue comes in many different shapes and sizes, and because it is flexible, it can be stretched by simple things like sports, physical activity, or using a menstrual cup long before a person ever has sex.

One of the most helpful things to understand is that the “bleeding test” is not a reliable way to determine if someone is a virgin. Many women do not bleed at all during their first sexual experience because their hymen is naturally flexible or has already stretched over time. Not bleeding is a normal biological variation, not a sign that a girl has lied about her history. Furthermore, there is no medical test that can prove virginity. Doctors and global health experts agree that a physical exam cannot determine if someone has had sex, as the hymen changes naturally for many reasons. Your worth and your health history cannot be measured by a clinical examination or a physical trait.

Taking charge of your reproductive health also means looking past myths regarding safety and performance. Some believe that you cannot get pregnant or catch a Sexually Transmitted Disease, or STD, during the first time. This is a dangerous misunderstanding, as pregnancy and infections can happen during any sexual encounter, including the very first one. Additionally, your reproductive performance, meaning your ability to have children or your body’s general function, remains exactly the same. Being informed about protection and understanding how your body works is the most responsible way to prepare for the future.

Navigating these topics can feel heavy because of the silence that often surrounds them, but seeking accurate information is a sign of maturity and self-respect. You are not alone in your curiosity, and it is okay to ask questions when the stories you hear do not match medical facts. Choosing to learn about your body helps replace fear with confidence and confusion with clarity. Remember that taking care of your health and making informed decisions is a brave step toward a balanced and empowered life.

 

Pregnancy-Friendly Sex: Positions for Comfort and Safety

Pregnancy is a wild ride for your body curves shifting, hormones surging, and sometimes your libido taking an unexpected detour. The good news is that for most uncomplicated pregnancies, intimacy is safe and can even be enjoyable. Of course, if your doctor has flagged risks such as a low-lying placenta, leaking amniotic fluid, or a cervix that is opening too early, follow their advice. For everyone else, comfort, communication, and a little creativity are your best friends.

First Trimester: The “Biscuit-in-the-Oven Shuffle”

The first 12 weeks can be exhausting. Morning sickness, fatigue, and emotional swings may make sex feel physically and emotionally challenging. The “Biscuit-in-the-Oven Shuffle” is a side-lying position with your partner behind you, keeping you close without putting pressure on your belly. This simple side-by-side approach allows intimacy without awkward movements. Early pregnancy sex is safe, so there is no reason to skip connection.

Second Trimester: The “Honeymoon Trimester”

Weeks 13 to 27 are often called the honeymoon trimester. Nausea eases, energy returns, and your bump becomes easier to manage.

  • Belly Bounce-Adapt: Spooning keeps intimacy cozy and belly-friendly.
  • You’re in the Driver’s Seat: Being on top allows you to control depth, angle, and pace, providing comfort as your abdomen grows.

Hormonal changes may reduce natural lubrication, so a water-based lubricant can make intimacy more comfortable. This is completely normal and safe.

Third Trimester: Creative Belly-Friendly Positions

Weeks 28 to birth bring a larger belly and reduced mobility, but intimacy can continue safely:

  • Belly Barrier-Bypass: Gentle spooning keeps your belly safe while staying close.
  • Edge-of-the-Bed Handshake: Your partner sits on the edge of the bed while you face them safely.

Avoid lying flat on your back for long periods, as the uterus can press on major blood vessels and cause dizziness.

Safety and Connection

Even in a smooth pregnancy, pay attention to how your body feels. Stop and contact your doctor if you experience pain, heavy bleeding, or fluid leakage. Keep open communication with your partner about what feels good and what does not, and don’t be afraid to laugh if things feel awkward. Intimacy is about connection, not perfection.

Pregnancy changes your body and your libido, but with flexibility, creativity, and honesty, you can maintain closeness, enjoy intimacy, and even discover new favorite ways to connect, all while keeping a sense of humor.

Writer : Bezawit Elias

False and True Labor: How to Tell the Difference

One of the many unusual experiences that can occur in an otherwise normal pregnancy is false labor. Braxton Hicks contractions, named after the doctor who first described them, are false contractions that mimic the pain of real labor but do not cause any physical changes that lead to birth. Especially for first-time mothers, it can be very confusing to tell the difference between real and false labor.

To understand false labor, it is important first to know how true labor progresses. True labor refers to a series of changes the body goes through over hours, and in some cases days, to deliver the baby. It can last anywhere from twelve to eighteen hours and is marked by increasingly strong and frequent waves of pain in the belly, known as contractions, with short breaks in between. Labor may begin with light contractions occurring every thirty minutes and lasting about twenty seconds. These early contractions are often mistaken for other types of discomfort. What makes true labor distinct is that the contractions become progressively more intense, longer, and closer together. The pain consistently builds over time rather than fading.

Doctors often refer to the “5-1-1 rule” to describe the point at which a pregnant woman should go to the hospital. This means contractions that occur every five minutes, last for one minute, and have been continuing for at least one hour. This steady, rhythmic tightening of the uterus helps gradually open the cervix and prepare for birth. Another sign that true labor has begun is the release of the mucus plug, a thick membrane that seals the cervix during pregnancy. It acts as a barrier protecting the fetus and naturally comes out when the body begins preparing for delivery.

False labor, on the other hand, does not share many of these features. While true labor is a coordinated, purposeful process that brings about gradual physical changes leading to birth, Braxton Hicks contractions are irregular and unpredictable. Their timing, frequency, and duration vary, and they lack the steady rhythm of real labor. The pain from Braxton Hicks contractions may come and go at random intervals, two minutes apart, then thirty, then ten. Whereas true labor pains often start as aches in the back and move forward, false pains may be felt only in the front. Unlike true labor, false labor contractions often dissipate with movement, rest, or stretching. They may also occur much earlier in pregnancy, sometimes in the second or early third trimester, whereas natural labor almost always happens at full term.

Even if you think you can recognize false labor, it is always important to contact your doctor or midwife if you are uncertain. They can help determine whether what you are experiencing is normal or a sign that labor has truly begun. Understanding these differences can help you stay calm, avoid unnecessary stress, and know when it is time to welcome your baby into the world.

Writer: Hosaena Gebru

Understanding Labor and What to Expect

Bringing a new life into the world is powerful and emotional, but pregnancy and labor can feel confusing, especially for first-time mothers. Learning what happens during labor helps reduce fear and prepares you for the experience.

What Is Labor?

Labor is the natural process where the uterus contracts to help the baby move down and through the birth canal. It usually occurs between 37 and 42 weeks of pregnancy, when the baby is ready to be born.

How to Know Labor Is Starting

Each woman’s experience is different, but several signs may indicate that true labor has begun:

  • Back pain or cramping that does not stop with rest
  • Regular contractions that last more than 30 seconds and become stronger and closer together
  • Bloody show, which is mucus mixed with a small amount of blood
  • Water breaking, either as a gush or a slow leak of fluid

If you are unsure whether what you feel is true labor, it is always best to contact your doctor or midwife.

The Stages of Labor

Health workers often talk in terms of stages because it helps track progress and guide care. Here is what each stage involves:

Stage I: Opening of the Cervix

This stage begins when contractions start opening the cervix and continues until it reaches 10 centimeters.

  • Early labor: contractions are mild and far apart
  • Active labor: contractions become stronger, longer, and more frequent

Helpful tips: Drink fluids, use slow deep breathing, change positions, walk if comfortable, and rest when possible.

Stage II: Delivery of the Baby

In this stage, the cervix is fully open and you begin pushing as the baby moves down the birth canal.

Helpful tips: Follow your provider’s guidance, push during contractions, and rest between them. Although most deliveries are safe, this stage is closely monitored to watch for fatigue, long pushing, or tears.

Stage III: Delivery of the Placenta

After the baby is born, contractions help the placenta separate and come out.

Helpful tips: Stay relaxed and follow your provider’s instructions. They may massage your abdomen or give medicine to prevent heavy bleeding.

Stage IV: The Golden Hour

This is the first 1 to 2 hours after the placenta is delivered. The uterus continues contracting, and your care team monitors bleeding and vital signs. Feeling cold, shaky, or tired is normal.

Helpful tips: Begin breastfeeding early, keep your baby on your chest for bonding, drink fluids, and rest.

After Labor

Your baby will be examined, dried, and placed on your chest for skin-to-skin contact. Early breastfeeding supports bonding and helps the uterus contract. Continue attending all recommended checkups and discuss any concerns with your provider.

In Closing

Labor involves effort and pain, but with the right preparation, skilled care, and family support, it can also be a safe and empowering experience.

Writer : Kidus Solomon

Healing, Connection and Sex After Giving Birth

Labor is one of the most stressful experiences a woman can go through. It affects her body, mind, and emotions all at once. With all that, and a newborn who needs constant feeding, changing, and soothing, the idea of sex is often the last thing on her mind. Adjusting to motherhood, recovering from childbirth, and dealing with exhaustion can make intimacy feel overwhelming or even impossible.

In general, for women who have delivered vaginally without complications, doctors recommend waiting about six weeks before resuming sexual intercourse. This allows the uterus to return to its normal size, bleeding to stop, and tissues to heal. Women who have experienced tears and required episiotomy stitches usually need more time for the wound to fully heal. The same is true for those who delivered through surgery. Engaging in sex before the body has healed can cause pain, reopen wounds, and increase the risk of infection. It is essential to wait until a healthcare professional confirms that recovery is progressing well and gives the green light.

Once the waiting period is over, it is important to approach sex gently and patiently. Even if sex has been a familiar part of the relationship for years, pregnancy and childbirth can bring many changes. Hormonal fluctuations in the postpartum period can lead to vaginal dryness, mood changes, fatigue, and body aches. Some women may also feel disconnected from their bodies or struggle with self-image, or even fall into a state of depression. Taking time, using lubrication if needed, and communicating openly with your partner can help make the experience more comfortable. Listening to your body and stopping if anything feels painful or uncomfortable is key. Consent and emotional safety are just as important as physical readiness. Sex is not something done to a woman, but something shared and enjoyed together. Both partners should feel ready and comfortable.

Sadly, the Me Too movement has highlighted deeply troubling stories of women being pressured, coerced, or even forced into sex soon after childbirth. This is never acceptable. Respect, empathy, and open communication should be the foundation of intimacy. A woman’s consent should always be enthusiastic and freely given, especially during such a vulnerable time.

Another important point to remember is contraception. It might seem unlikely to get pregnant right after giving birth, but it is still possible. Breastfeeding can delay the return of fertility, especially within the first six months, but it is not a guarantee. Ovulation can occur before a woman’s first postpartum period, which means pregnancy is still possible. To avoid an unplanned pregnancy, safe sex practices such as using condoms or other forms of contraception should be considered.

Sex after delivery is not something that should be rushed. Every woman’s recovery is different, and every couple moves at their own pace. With patience, communication, mutual respect, and care, intimacy can become a positive and healing part of life once again.

Writer:  Hosaena Gebru

Preparing for Childbirth: A Full-Body, Full-Mind Journey for Every Mother

Whether you are counting down the final weeks or just entering your third trimester, preparing for childbirth is a full-body and full-mind experience. It can be exciting, emotional, and at times overwhelming. With the right knowledge and intentional choices, you can approach labor feeling strong, grounded, and confident.

1. Preparing Your Body: What Every Mama Should Know

Stay Active

Gentle, pregnancy-safe movement such as walking, pelvic tilts, and prenatal yoga helps relax your muscles, strengthen your core, and improve your posture. Staying active can ease back pain, support circulation, and make common labor positions more comfortable when the time comes.

Practice Breathing and Relaxation

Controlled breathing and relaxation exercises help your body cope more effectively with contractions by lowering stress hormones. Deep belly breathing, guided meditation, stretching, and mindful relaxation all contribute to a calmer and more resilient labor experience.

Know Your Birth Plan

Discuss your preferences with your healthcare provider, including natural birth goals, pain-management options, mobility during labor, the role of your support person, and immediate postpartum care. Being informed and aligned with your care team can significantly reduce fear and build confidence.

2. Preparing Your Mind: Mental Readiness Matters

Learn, but Avoid Overload

Childbirth classes, trusted educational resources, and conversations with midwives or obstetric providers help you understand the stages of labor and potential interventions. Knowledge creates comfort, but try not to overwhelm yourself with too much information. Choose sources that feel supportive and balanced.

Use Positive Visualization

Visualizing your body working with you can shift your mindset in a powerful way. Many women find that affirmations, grounding exercises, or focusing on positive birth stories help them stay centered during contractions.

Prioritize Rest

Sleep and intentional rest are essential. Your body is preparing for one of the most physically demanding experiences it will ever go through, and proper rest supports both mental clarity and physical endurance.

3. Smart Nutrition for Natural Childbirth

Late-pregnancy nutrition can influence your digestion, energy levels, and overall sense of readiness.

Flaxseed

Flaxseed contains fiber and healthy fats, which can support digestion and ease constipation, a common experience in late pregnancy. Introduce it gradually and consume plenty of water.

Raspberry Leaf Tea

Raspberry leaf tea is traditionally used to tone the uterine muscles and support efficient contractions. Some women report shorter or smoother labor. However, research findings are mixed, and it is not suitable for everyone. Always check with your doctor or midwife before adding it to your routine, especially if you are high-risk.

Okra

Okra provides hydration, fiber, vitamins, and minerals that support healthy digestion. Some cultural traditions suggest that okra may help soften the cervix or make labor easier. Scientific evidence is limited, but it remains a nutritious addition to your diet.

4. The Importance of Hydration

Proper hydration supports muscle function, energy levels, and overall comfort. Water, electrolyte drinks, coconut water, infused water, and broths are excellent ways to stay hydrated as labor approaches.

5. When to Be Cautious

Although the foods above are generally considered safe, it is important to avoid herbal supplements unless approved by your healthcare provider. Do not consume large or excessive amounts of any one food or tea. If you notice any unusual symptoms, discontinue use and consult your provider.

Final Thoughts

Preparing for childbirth involves both your body and your mind. Surround yourself with support, listen to the signals your body gives you, nourish yourself with intention, and trust your instincts. You are bringing life into the world, and that alone reflects strength and courage.

To all the girls, baby mamas, and strong women reading this: you have everything it takes.

 Writer: Hermon Israel

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